Yeah Boy, and Doll Face!
by LolitaOfTheNight
Summary: Wake me up, and let me know you're alive... - AkuRoku Axel x fem!Roxas


Yeahhhh... I don't know. Please,let me know what you think. Yeah, I genderbended Roxas, I find it easier to write this way. Her name is Roxy. Enjoy! ^_^ Nothing owned by me.

* * *

I started to laugh,as I realized I was crying. He leaned over and threaded his fingers through my hair.

"It'll be fine without me. Don't... Don't cry." His voice broke off as he started to violently cough. I clenched his collar as I started to cry harder.

"It's not going to be FINE,it's not going to be okay, don't lie to me like that. I love you,you idiot,I love you..."

He turned his head away from me,and I saw him start to frown.

"No... I can't hear that now... It's too late. You know I've always loved you."

"I-I know, I was scared Ax,I was scared, I couldn't just commit... I feel so stupid now..." He looked back at me with eyes that showed more compassion than I had ever seen on him.

"Yeah,I know. Heh,I expected it. My little emotionally-challenged Roxy..." He almost crooned out the last part.

"Don't forget,I'll always wish you could've been mine." His heartbeat monitor gradually started to flat-line. My eyes widened,as I laid a desperate kiss on his lips.

"Don't go,please,please,please..." I said,as I wrapped my arms around his body. I felt someone start to pull me away. It was his mom,who had her own teary red eyes.

"Roxanne... Let's go." I just stood there,watching as his doctor pulled the sheets over his body.

She pulled me to her,and started to hug me. I just stood there,as she spoke meaningless words to me in a voice that sounded like a higher pitch of his. I moved away,and she looked at me, broken-hearted.

"W-we knew he'd go eventually... Such a strong young man,but... He was just sickly,I suppose." She said. Her eyes started to water,and I flinched. She looked too much like Axel when he cried.

"We did know. It doesn't make it easier. His doctors said he shouldn't have lived to 12,but here he is now,he lived much longer that. I mean,I was able to meet him in college. He was a grown man almost,22,and he fought with his asthma like the kid he used to be fighting for his life." My fists had started to clench together while I had talked, and I felt my chest start to pound. I kicked the ground and let out a growl. His mom started to let some of her tears fall. She wilted,and fell into my arms. I stumbled slightly,because she was a very tall woman, a 5'9 to my 5'2. I held my arms around her middle, and she cried into my hair.

"I have nothing left..." She wailed.

"...Nothing... Only a-a husband who beat me to almost-death,and my baby boy died! I'm good for nothing now... " I let her cry into my hair for a few more minutes. Once she stood,I looked at her with a gaze that made her shrink back.

"We... we have to move on. We gotta keep living,we have to... We can't just let everything fall! That's the exact opposite of what he would've wanted,we... can't forget him." I looked away from her,and in that moment, my heart was really, truly broken. He was gone.

_ 1 year later..._

_With a lie that I'm enjoying every minute with myself_

_And she could make hell feel just like home_

_So I'm never leaving her alone_

_But if your lightning lips aren't mine_

_Then I don't know the awkward stranger to my right_

"...Roxy..."

"...Hey..."

"...Roxy~..."

"**HEY!**"

I flew awake, looking around fearfully in my bedroom. I heard... I heard someone scream at me. I walked to my window,and looked outside. Nobody was out there, just the regular, nondescript, urban city. I turned around, and happened to notice a picture on a table by my bed. It was of Axel, and... me. We were both laughing,and we were at the park, the park where we met. He... tried to flirt with me,when we first met. Telling me I looked like an angel,or some... stupid stuff like that. I told him off, and since then,we had grown close,which eventually melded into a friendship. Neither of us questioned it, I was the pessimist to his optimist, the logic to his impulsiveness, the cold to his warm. I started to cry, and I held the frame to my chest. Maybe it'd protect me from whatever I heard. I gave a dry laugh to that. I stopped suddenly. I felt... fingertips? Across my hand. I ran for my lamp, and turned it on. What I saw next made me question more about myself than I seemed comfortable.

Axel was standing by my window.

He gave me a sad smile, and waved at me.

"Roxy... You're so beautiful... Still..." He whispered it, but he still had the deepness I remembered. I slowly walked over to him.

"You died. You died! What... What is this?" I shrieked. I threw a punch at him. He blocked it with his hand, and started to laugh. I wanted to feel insulted, but it was too familiar. I felt warmth flood back into me, after what...

"A year." His voice returned to his somber whisper.

"It... killed me, watching you. You... crumbled. Roxy... This isn't what you were supposed to do..."

"How are you even here,for starters? Since I feel as if I can't start with the vague shit just yet." I spat out at him. He had the nerve to laugh again.

"Honestly? When I died... Somehow, I got told my purpose hadn't really been filled yet, on earth. I had died, but..." He started to cough again, like how when he first started to get really sick.

"I wasn't done here. 'Cause of you. Roxy." He looked at me, hesitant. I did what I had always wanted since he died. I hugged him, and I held him so tightly I felt like I'd break the giant idiot... I missed him,so badly. He was caught off guard, and wrapped his arms around me.

"I got... I got to watch over you. Make sure you were safe. Only for a... bit... of time though. I got to actually see you my last day."

I pulled away and looked at him, shocked.

"What? Axel..."

He hurried to explain.

"I only have one day with you, and right now, I'm like a solid ghost. You're the only one who sees me. I get one day to accomplish... what I've wanted... for as long as I've known you. I fought so hard for one day, but there's... a lot I'm giving up right now. I'm basically going to be dying again, and this time,I'll stay dead. I've seen... you this past year, and I've basically floated around you. Anything you've felt, that seemed odd, or out of character... that was me. I saw you, and I tried as hard as I... could to be happy, and loving you, because I wanted you happy, but Roxy, I was dying inside, seeing you. You didn't move on, but you didn't join me thank god. And... thank you... so much for talking my mom down. I didn't follow her,I couldn't but seeing you... I pretty much was your... guardian angel... Rox." He looked away, and it almost seemed like he was blushing.

"Well... why can't you really talk? Why do you keep whispering?" I muttered. I reached for his hand, and locked our fingers together. He smiled at that.

"Rox... I died because... my lungs couldn't keep me breathing." He gave a brief laugh.

"Oh. Well... I'm sorry." I said. I pulled him onto my bed, and my blankets along with us.

"It's fine." He shut my lamp off for me, but the streetlight from my window showed his face. I glanced up at him through my bangs. Axel's eyes were a cloudy green now, not his clear emerald I remembered forever.

"Were... Were you calling out to me? While I was asleep?" Axel gave another breathy laugh.

"Yeah... I... was allowed to go to see you, tonight. I got a bit... excited. I didn't... mean to scare you..." I frowned at him.

"I was scared. I've been so alone. I had a... lot of time to think while you've been gone." I said. Axel sighed unhappily.

"I'll never... forgive myself. I... wanted to show... myself, I-I just,tried to give... you as much strength... as I could." I stayed silent at that.

"I want to sleep."

"Then... do it,Rox." He trailed off, as he traced his fingers over my cheek. I let the airy cold slide over me, as I started to fall asleep.

A few hours later,I woke up with a start as I opened my eyes and saw Axel laying in my bed with his eyes closed. My memory started to recover,and I went to see if Axel was even asleep. I gently shook his shoulder,as I peered over him. He was still... him. Even if he was some type of ghost. He was still his long, lanky legs, and his bright red hair. He was still his high cheekbones and a mouth that would curl into a catlike grin whenever he made me flustered. I hestitantly pecked a kiss to his mouth. I felt him start to smile,and he suddenly pinned me to the bed.

"Axel!" I squawked at him. It was a very... suggestive pose we were in. And the way he was looking at me made me dance the border of uncomfortable to liking it. He kissed me again himself, and then jumped off my bed. I started to double-take,as I saw he was floating in midair. He gave me a cheeky grin,and popped a peace sign at me.

"You... like? I'm your ghost boy Roxy~..." He cooed to me. I just shook my head.

"Well, "ghost boy", you need to, I don't KNOW,leave or something,I need to change my clothes..." I looked to my pajama pants awkwardly.

"Do I really need to go, Rox? Do I really?" He said. He started to smirk,as he hovered around me. I simply pointed to the door. He scoffed at me,as he phased through it,and he was gone. Startled,I started to gather some clothes. I decided to get dressed under my blanket... He creeped me out a bit. Once I was ready, I smoothed out my shirt and my skinny jeans. I grabbed my old converse shoes as Axel floated back in again,looking curious.

"So is... it okay to... come back in again?..."

"Y-yeah..." That would take some getting used to. I remembered I wouldn't get the chance to get used to it however. I felt some of the old pain get back to me. I tried shaking it off,and I grabbed Axel's hand.

"C'mon! We're going to the park!" It was about two,and a Saturday,so I wouldn't have to worry about classes.

"Uh... alright?" I started to dash out, and he followed me, like a shadow.

Once we arrived at the park, I went for the massive jungle gym. I ambled my way up to the top,and I started to look around. The thing was only 10 feet tall,but it was complicated and tangled. I remember when Axel and I used to joke it was some twisted art project.

"So... What now... kid?" He said as he sat next to me. (He just watched me climb up as he gradually flew up. Heh,wimp. I shared such thoughts, to his disdain.)

"I don't know. I... want you here. I want you here by me, and not just for a single day. Don't get me wrong... I never thought I'd see you again." I said. I looked at him.

"When do you... have to go anyway?" I murmured He went to move in front of me, sliding off the bars. He drifted in front of me, and moved to where he could look right at me as well.

"Look... That doesn't matter right now, okay Rox? Let's just enjoy the right now. Just... give me a bit of heaven." He started to give me a goofy smile.

"Although... you certainly... aren't a pure angel... now. Not with... that mouth..." He started to stifle laughter.

"Whatever! I just don't take your shit Axel Harris!" I said with a laugh. I moved to shove him away, not thinking of the fact that he wasn't even on the jumgle gym like how I was, and I started to fall. He swooped down and I landed with a grunt on his part into his arms. He helped me stand up gently back on the ground.

"Ah, and... the... angel is graceful... too." He started to laugh harder. I started to grumble in irritation.

"Thanks for saving me,I guess..." I said. He ran a hand through my hair.

"Aren't... I... your hero?" He winked at me. I started to laugh.

"C'mon,let's go somewhere else,dork." I started to walk towards the woods.

"Let's... go to... the creek!" He said in an excited voice,with his own little rasp he seemed to have. He started to violently cough, and he actually sank to the ground. I ran over to him, and held his body close to me. Once he stopped, I helped prop him up.

"It's.. It's starting. I'm starting... to die... again." His shoulders visibly drooped.

"We... we need to go do stuff! Come on Roxy, come on!" He pulled me towards the woods. I was suddenly struck with the memory of an awkward 12 year old boy trying to show me around, telling me how he knew of this cool place,and I just happened to be interesting enough for him to show me. I felt my eyes start to tear up, and I could swear I could see tears slide off the side of Axel's face too.

At the creek,Axel grabbed for a rock, and he tossed it across the water. It skipped gracefully, with 5 pats to the water. He looked at me,and with a smile,he tossed me a rock.

"Let's see if you got any better, Roxy." He said. I scowled at him. He knew I was horrible at rock skipping. I looked at it briefly. Then I tossed it out to the water. It landed with a plunk,and started sinking. Axel came back over with another rock.

"Watch,like this Rox." He moved behind me,and guided my hand for the right way to skip rocks. I threw it like how he showed me,and it skipped across the water 5 times. I started to laugh.

"Ha! I did it!" I grinned,pleased with. It was a petty thing I wished to get better at,since I always tried it with Axel.

"Yeah,you did. Gosh,finally Rox." He said,smiling teasingly. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders,and moved me close to him. We just stood like that for a moment, and I wished I could hear his heart beat. I craved this feeling... Being close. I needed this forever,not just today,I needed it forever. I turned around,and hugged him tightly.

"I don't know if I can handle one day." I said against his chest. I could feel it shake where he started to cough again.

"Me too Roxy." He moved away, and grabbed my hand.

"Come on,let's go back to the park."

Sitting on some benches, Axel and I... just talked. We probably talked for hours. I told him everything. How I finished college succesfully getting my degree in art. How I met with his mom twice a week, and we just talked. We were two people that leaned on Axel in our life,and since he was gone... We found each other. I was able to talk to her easily. I told him how shortly after his death I had a falling out with my parents because I refused to give up on my degree for art,and I didn't want to be a surgeon. I showed Axel pictures of my art on my phone, and he smiled, impressed I had gotten better. I had told him about all the new people I had met this year, and a few of my friends. Like a kind, tiny girl with dark hair, and deep blue eyes,named Xion. We found out later she was my cousin,which we both delighted in. I told him about Zexion, a quiet bookworm who I sat with in the library during free period on occasion, and I drew as he read. He eventually warmed up to me, and we had conversations about historical art, and he told me about new up and coming novels I would enjoy. I told him about Larxene, a loud,cruel girl who took a judo class with me. He ended up snickering as I told him about the match where I was the first person to beat her,barely,and since the day,we had been in a friendly rivalry. I paused as I looked at the sunset. It was a beautiful blend of orange and red. I heard Axel give a big breath of air,and I swear it looked as if he was starting to fade out of the corner of my eye. I whipped my head around,and I looked at him closely. Still there.

"Yeah... I'm...-" He gave a heart-wrenching cough.

"S-star...ting to... go." He started coughing more. He grabbed my face with both his hands,and said something I thought I'd never forget.

"Roxy...I-I'm...gon-na go,and... you're going...to forget me... I'm going...to be gone. Once I dis..disappear...Axel Harris...is gone."

"No!" I screamed the word at him.

"I don't want to forget! I don't want to forget how you made me feel! Axel,I don't want to forget!" I started to sob. I grabbed onto his shirt tightly.

"Don't go! You can't go!" At this point,he started to float upward,and his image was becoming more and more faded. I tried pulling him back down.

"I won't forget! I LOVE YOU! I WON'T FORGET!" He blew me a tearful kiss.

"You...will. Better...this way. Bye... Roxy."

And with those final words,he was gone. I felt my world go black.

* * *

_"H-Hey..."_

_ "Blond...ie..."_

_ "Wake...up..."_

** "Hey,are you dead?"**

I heard a deep,hoarse voice. Something in my head felt like it was stabbing me. I kept my eyes squinted shut as I started to stand up uneasily. I felt a hand guide me up. I opened my eyes,and I was in...some park? Last I remembered,I was asleep...in my bed. I looked to the person who woke me up. A pale hand slid through long red hair,and I noticed the man's green eyes started to shine.

"Heh... thought you'd never wake up, beautiful."

"Do... Do I know you?"


End file.
